And that’s ok. I am fortunate enough to sit in my home office in front of a very large window. It is a blessing and a curse at the same time, some days. Today, is one of those “curse” days. Its the first warm day our city has seen in months, it seems, and I become easily distracted by the people pushing strollers, the joggers, and the sunshine, taunting me to “get out and enjoy the day”. But…I write. I write and write and write. My hubby texts me from outside, and asks me to take a break and enjoy the sunshine with him. I brew my 4th cup of coffee of the day, and walk away from my computer. I take him a large mug of ice water and my coffee cup and sit in the warmth of the sunshine, trying not to leave the nagging feeling of “you should be writing” behind me.

I have been working on a book for a client for a couple months now, and its getting good! I am impatiently typing, thinking, jotting notes, typing, daydreaming, and more typing….I, much like the reader, NEED to know how this book will end.

And the bright sun is shining through the window, beckoning my company, still.

Should I be outside on this springlike Sunday afternoon enjoying the company of my man? Or, should I be writing the story for my client so that I can get paid for my Ghost writing? Its a conundrum, for sure, but I sit and write nonetheless.

Writers are a breed of people who stay in solitude more often than most humans. We spend the majority of our time thinking, pondering, editing, rearranging words, and finally typing our thoughts on the screen in front of us. By the time we can manage to get a chapter completed, the day is almost over, and we have watched the world go by, for another day.

Lately I have been listening to quiet music in the background of my quiet office, just to feel less alone. I don’t feel “lonely” persay, but sometimes, very much ALONE. I know I have deadlines and goals for myself, but sometimes, I just want to be like a “normal” person, and play outside. But then again, I don’t.

Its not like you can have “company” while you write, or you would not be able to focus on the task at hand. Your thoughts would be jumbled like a literal word search puzzle, and nothing would make sense.In fact, my guy rarely visits me in the office, for fear of disrupting me when I am on a “roll”. HE GETS IT. (sort of)

Balance between, life, work, exercise and writing can be a challenge, and although I manage, I know that when the heat of spring and summer are upon us, I will need to find a spot outdoors so I can not only watch the world go by, but can feel the sun, and hear voices of others. I think of how easy it would be to just spend all my waking hours, chiseling away at the plot twists and story lines, and character building of this book. How many people will jog by, stroll by, bike past or drive past my office window…as I just quietly, sit and write…

Writer of relationships / early childhood and mental health . Poetry and fiction dabbler

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