Wow this is intense. I feel like we fear our parents more because we fear being part of their gene pool. We worry that we will end up like them if we connect with them-as if their oddities are contagious or genetic. conversely, if we love and respect our parents and admire them, we try to connect and be with them as they leave our world-for one last second.
I never wanted to leave my mother in law’s side for a moment when she was palliative (she was my best friend) but it would be MUCH different for me, if my parents were palliative.
Your story makes my heart hurt for you through sympathy and empathy ❤