If any of you follow my work on Medium, you KNOW that I share a lot of personal and honest words and stories.
If you don’t follow me and have just begun to read my work, thank you. Please know that I am an “open book” on this platform and my stories are intended to help others, and to process my own thoughts. I have had a lot of successful responses from people who have said that they resonated with my stories and experiences.
With that said, Medium also has its challenges as an available forum online. When people find your work, and make the decision to “share” with others, it doesn’t always reap benefits. As I have discovered lately, the “share” can be done with ill intent. I suppose that is what online writing and the internet has become though. Medium itself, is a Social Media platform.
I recently had a story published called;
The Stages of Breaking Up
I know I have been writing a lot lately about my recent breakup from a 9 year relationship, and I would like to say I…
This story seems innocent enough. It is basically the past two months of my life, and the stages of my break up from a 9 year relationship.
It is MY TRUTH
It is MY STORY.
My ex has had access to my Medium account on our household computer for as long as I have been writing. I honestly hope he spends time reading my work, as he would learn more about me than he has over the past decade.
However, today, I received a text from him saying that “a friend” sent him the link to this story, and asked him to have a look at it.
Two things here…
- When I wrote other stories and articles that were about ME and my life, he never took the time to sit and read them. He continually told me he wasn’t a reader, and I tried to respect that. It did bother me that he showed zero interest in the products of my hard work, but I stifled those feelings, much like most of my others, when it came to our relationship.
- The ONE time he decided to take an interest in what I have to say, or write about, is when a “friend” informs him of my published story.
Now, because of the way the “share” was handled, my story has now become a weapon, instead of my deep, processed thoughts. And, now it has become a source of anger or hurt feelings, and accusations of “untruths”.
Trust me, I don’t write “untruths”. It is my mission to be honest when it comes to my stories, and to always be true to myself. You cannot help others by telling them lies.
It is, indeed, unfortunate when your stories are “outed” as a source of side taking or as artillery in a relationship. I find comfort and sanctity on this platform, because it is the one place where I am ALWAYS true to who I am. I have developed my own style, my own creativity, my own comfort, and my own bravery on Medium. I don’t see the point in writing, if it isn’t a small piece of yourself, put into words.
Maybe that’s just me.
I just find the irony that it took me walking out the door, for my partner of 9 years to read ANYTHING I have ever written, and when he finally gets around to it, it’s because a “friend” sent it to him, showing him that I was aiming at him with ill intent. I wasn’t. I was simply telling the truth, and my story.
This brings to mind a concern and a question:
Can we “keep” people from accessing our published work, somehow? I searched in the Help menu, but couldn’t find a way to do it, other than to keep your stories unpublished. But, what would be the point of that?
I know I have blocked a few readers from my pieces on here, because the content was not reader friendly for a specific person. I would never slander anyone, that’s not why I blocked them. I was just concerned that my stories would be read and misconstrued by specific people, and honestly didn’t need the drama. I have since unblocked them. However, the only way I could find to block anyone is if they are following you or have clapped. Please correct me if I am wrong.
Regardless, as writers, we have our “work” on here for a reason. All of us. Otherwise we wouldn’t write, right?
I never once considered, however, that my pieces could be utilized as weaponry to stir up an already mixed up pot. I guess the lesson here, is that if you DO take time to write openly, honestly and true to yourself, the risk is that others can see your experiences and stories as an opportunity to cause drama in your life.
I don’t let this bother me, however. I will always write honestly. I will always write from my heart and soul. I will always write with intention to help others and to provide my own therapy.
My response to my ex, and his informing me that he had read my story and has issues with it was this:
I have every right to write through this breakup and share my story. Feel free to share your own. I would love to read it.
Just know that your stories are accessible, dear writers, and they can be shared. More often than not, that is what we want to happen. Exposure for us is success.
But also know, that in the wrong hands, your words could be used as weapons in tumultuous situations. You may or may not concern yourself with this. I know I am not concerned, because I write my truth. I write my heart. I find a bit of satisfaction that the “friend” read my work and found it important enough to pass on. SUCCESS
Now that I have found my voice as a writer, I will keep on writing, regardless of how my words are perceived. If I can help ONE reader, my work was worth every word.