WHAT THE F**K HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE?

Birthdays…. AM-I-RIGHT?

I just celebrated my 49th birthday and am left pondering….

> I am OFFICIALLY almost “50” and am technically in MID-LIFE

> I am still very young at heart, but my body tires more easily than it did in my earlier years.

> I LOOK FORWARD to 10:00 bedtimes.

AND…I wonder, what the fuck I have done with my life?

I have traveled to a few countries and a few continents. I still have so much more I WANT to see…I have started writing (again) and am working on two book projects….and I am in my “career” job, that I will more than likely retire from.

BUT…HOW DO WE FULFILL OURSELVES? How do we get to that point?

THAT POINT….where we can say…If I die tomorrow, I am content in knowing that I …… ?

“Life is what you make it. Find your own path to fulfillment.” Anonymous

I start every birthday morning the same…I wake up, look in the mirror, flex my neck to see if I have my mother’s “turkey waddle”, I poke at my wrinkles around my eyes and consider Botox (only for a moment because I detest needles) and I check my hairline to see if it is receding like my grandmother’s did.

Then I think of my daughter and smile.

I look at my home that my partner and I have built, and smile again. I think of spending a long weekend with my guy, and I get butterflies of anticipation.

Then I think of the shitty past I came from, and thank my lucky stars that I escaped and am now in a good place.

IS THIS FULFILLMENT? Would I be happy if this was it? I suppose I would be, however, I have time still. Time to plan, make more money at my job, time to pay off a few debts, and time to work on my books. I am blessed.

Aging isn’t a negative. You are an “experienced” adult in your late 40’s. You’ve done some shit and you’ve made some mistakes, but you’re YOU. The lines around your face mean you have emotions. The stretch marks on your body mean that you have lived and have eaten, or have had children who make your life incredible. The scars are earned, damnit! They have made you who you are TODAY and they mean you have survived challenges.

Life begins the moment you take your first breath, and some people work hard to make sure they do EVERYTHING on a bucket list to ensure they are fulfilled before they leave this earth. Some slide by, and some are challenged every step along the way. I have chosen to live day by day, making loose plans and to write. I intend to live the rest of my years embracing my daughter, my partner and my life with open arms. Plans can be changed, life can have obstacles, and most of us have no control over what our destiny will be….

BE CONTENT, BE FULFILLED and be glad you are aging….

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