The Millennial Night Club Scene.

If You Go Clubbing…Expect to Be Photographed and Video’d

I laugh to myself when I say this, but it has to be said. “Kids these days!” (Insert eye roll here)

Twice this month I have gone out with some girlfriends for crazy nights of dancing, drinking and laughter. Through those two nights I saw some things that really made me question the new generation of 18 and 21 year olds.

As I write this, I look back at myself when I turned “legal” and yes, I was a bit of an asshole. And yes, I liked to party and drink. And, yes, I could have gotten myself into trouble a few times…BUT I never did. For some reason, my generation of clubbers seemed to keep control. I knew my limit, I was always careful and responsible and I never “hooked up” while I was in a club, or even after last call. Typically, I would find a 24 hour convenience store, grab some junk food and go home to sleep it off.

The group of ladies I went out with are all my age. 50 is right around the corner, or over the cliff, whichever way you want to look at it, but we are all still young looking and we can all still dance like we did at 20. I try to stay fit and fight the middle age spread as hard as I can, and still make an effort to “look young”. As do my peers.

There were a couple of moments, when we were out on Saturday, that absolutely blew my mind. Looking at myself at that age, I know I was so much smarter and way more health conscience than the 18 year olds we observed that night.

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Photo by C Hausauer

First of all, look at the image I have posted above, and tell me what you see. -I’ll wait.

This is an image that I took in the washroom at the club (not one of my proudest moments). I felt it had to be done. This is 3 -18 year old young girls-someone’s daughters- sharing a bathroom stall. As you can see, one is kneeling as she is wracked with heaving vomiting, while another is presumably holding back her hair. The third is in there to complain about her boyfriend, very loudly- Her complaint is that she “goes down on her boyfriend” all the time and she can’t figure out why he is still seeing that “slut”. She then complains that the last time she went down on him, she swears she could taste the “slut” on him. Nasty.

Now, you probably wonder why I took this photo.

My reason was, to send it to my daughter and THANK HER for being a good kid! To thank her for not being one of these girls and to express my deepest gratitude to her for NEVER sitting on a bathroom floor with bare legs. I also thanked her for her inability to vomit in a public bathroom.

This picture was taken at 9:30 PM-these girls still had a long night ahead of them.

Another oddity with that generation is the way that young people approach others. My friends and I were in a nice little circle, dancing to some music I know the words to, but couldn’t tell you what other music it was mixed with. We were minding our own business, and what can only be described as the child of Leonard from Big Bang Theory , came very close to me, interrupting our dance circle. He then began making attempts to grind his crotch against my leg, making me feel like a very dirty old lady. I shoved him away and told him “no”. (I used the same tone one would when speaking to a puppy who piddled on the rug. )His response to my blatant rejection was to try and attach his face to my neck, and out of pure shock, I pushed him hard enough so that he stumbled and fell against one of my friends. I apologized (to my friend) and the boy didn’t quit! I couldn’t believe his persistence. He looked at me through his drunken, thick eye glasses and said, “Come on! Let’s make out! That’s why you’re here isn’t it?”

I could literally here the “record scratch” sound in my head.

I looked at him, standing with pleading eyes, his baby face, trying to focus his gaze on me and I laughed out loud. “Dude, I am old enough to be your mother! My daughter is much older than you! You need to find someone your own age to play with”. And I turned away, like the fucking lady I am and continued chatting and laughing with my girlfriend.

The little bugger didn’t quit there!

He tapped me on my shoulder and came close to my face so I could hear him over the loud “psh psh psh” of the music, and he said, “Come on! I’ll give you a night you’ll never forget”.

Holy shit! Are you kidding me? I literally looked at my friends, burst out laughing and went to sit the next song out. I almost felt some kind of “shame” for this kid’s actions. Almost. The young lad walked past me a few times with a sullen, wounded pout on his hairless lips. Soon he was trying to latch onto another lady who was arguably older than I am.

I took a break from the dance floor and spent a long period of time just people watching. We were in a club that aged in range from 18 to 60 somethings and the younger of the group really shocked me. When they refer to these clubs as “meat markets” or “hook up clubs”, they really aren’t kidding. It is very much like dating sites, but instead of swiping left or right, the youngest ones went from one dance partner to another, “making out” while they danced, before moving onto another partner! I haven’t been in these clubs for the better part of 20 years and am stunned by their interactions.

Sexual advances, groping, grinding, and chewing on each other’s necks is far from back in my day where a single guy would ask you to dance, and “maybe” buy you a drink. I sure as hell never had the desire to start getting that close to another human being, especially a stranger in public. Maybe I was an anomaly, and these things did happen, and I was oblivious?

But these scenarios aren’t even the worst part of it! The worst part, is sitting and watching the kids on their phones, videoing and taking pictures of perspective “dance partners” or to post on their pages to make fun of them! In my days as a bartender and patron, cameras were completely prohibited in night clubs as it was a breach of privacy. Now EVERYTHING is public! (I know I see the irony, given I took photos as well in the bathroom, but you will note, there are NO faces).

Two weeks ago, when I was out celebrating one of my friend’s 49th birthday, we found a karaoke club with about 12 people inside. We danced and acted like 20 somethings and played along with a few songs when the manager asked us to “help her” sing. The next morning, I was mortified to see that we were video’d and used as a PROMO for the bar, to encourage other late night patrons. It’s just a normal part of bar life now. No waiver was signed, no permission was granted and definitely no consent was given to be plastered on the bar’s facebook page. (I messaged them the following day and kindly asked them to remove the videos ). Thankfully after 48 hours, they were removed.

We were actually at the bar on this past Saturday, as my friend’s daughter turned 18, and my friend thought it would be fun to show her daughter how us old ladies can still have fun at our age. Her daughter brought 3 friends with her, and they literally spent more time on their phones taking pictures and video, than they did dancing or interacting with each other. I found it disturbing. When they did get up to dance, they were “phone in hand” snapchatting each other’s moves. (Eye roll again)

I am all for openness and having a fun night out. I think that dancing and having a couple social drinks is good for our souls. I believe that we are only as young as we feel and that age is only a number. I think it’s fun to get out of our houses on weekends once in awhile and check out the night scene to take us back to our days of the club scene. It has changed so much though, that I will not be returning anytime soon.

I am just so very relieved that I am not 18 anymore, if this is indicative of what “18” looks like now.

It honestly makes me worry for generations to come.

Writer of relationships / early childhood and mental health . Poetry and fiction dabbler

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