She sat alone at a table for two, near the window of a restaurant, down the street from her apartment. Another no show “date”. She had been matched with him on one of the dating sites that kept her distracted from her life, and she agreed to meet him here. An hour later, and a glass and a half of Cabernet, she sat and stared out at the people walking down the street. The couples, holding hands, the small families strolling in the evening sunshine, some pushing children in carriages. They all made her angry and envious. SHE wanted to be one of those people, and as her heart cracked, just a little bit more, she checked her watch again, and sipped from the wine glass.
“Why do I put myself through this torture?” her mind asked her heart. She was a beautiful girl. Stunningly so, with long black, thick hair, an athletic shape and, very rare, amber eyes, that shot embers when she was angry, or became auburn, soft, flickers when she was happy. When she was in love, her eyes shone a brilliant ombre’ , that seemed to merge in a contrast between pale gold and deep chocolate brown.
That shade had not been seen in a very long time. Her eyes reflected her soul and depicted every emotion she carried, as if she wore her heart outside her chest for the world to judge.
She felt almost relieved as she sat and stared at the strangers surrounding her. She didn’t have to muddle through the awkward ‘first date” bullshit again tonight. The “so, what do you like to do”’s and the “what kind of relationship are you looking for?” questions. She felt like she had repeated this banter so many times with a variety of faces, that she versed it all by memory, like a childish play. Then there was the first touch that sent shivers through her, or made her feel weird, like her space was being rudely invaded. Sometimes there would be a kiss, and sometimes she would hookup with him, but nothing seemed to keep them around. The promises to call, the cliche excuses for not calling and ultimately, she was right back where she started.
When she checked her watch, it mocked her by telling her she had now been sitting alone for 90 minutes, and she asked her server for the check. She wiped the possible wine residue from her lips and stood to go to the washroom to have a good cry, before she made an entrance to the busy street outside. She just didn’t understand…
