SOMETIMES I AM AN A-HOLE

AND I AM OK WITH THAT…

Its no joke, sometimes I can be a real asshole, and honestly, I have surrendered to this side of me, with grace. Throughout my 40+ years of life, I have met many people who, upon first impressions strike me as an asshole, or a jerk, or whatever the fitting word for them is. Although they are not always my cup of tea, I “get it” now, why they are the way they are. They are just TIRED OF BEING NICE ALL THE TIME!

I have always been “nice”. TOO NICE. I let people boss me around, or “advise” me with their guidance of the day and I used to be the YES GIRL. At some point, this changed, and now I have joined the asshole club.

It seems like, everyone has their breaking point, where you just get exhausted, mentally and physically from running around like a lunatic, making sure everyone is happy. You nurture, coddle, kiss boo boos and change your life to accommodate the ones you love, the ones who look up to you, or the ones who supervise you at your job. You want to always make a good and positive impression, and you thrive on ensuring that everyone LIKES YOU! Over time, this practice becomes so deflating, and tiresome because you stop worrying about yourself. You let other people’s opinion of you define you. You stop taking time to ponder your own happiness, and you give yourself so much to others that you ultimately lose YOU.