RELATIONSHIPS, POOPING AND THE “FIRST FART”

WHY DOES SOMETHING SO NATURAL BECOME SO EMBARRASSING??

They say that once you get past the first real “Toot” “Fart”, “Flatulence””Buttwind”…(Whatever you want to call it), in front of your significant other, it means you MUST be in a long term relationship.

Let’s think about this for a moment, shall we? Why, in a relationship, does it become such a “thing” for most people? (Lets be honest, this refers to most WOMEN)

I remember the first time I heard my guy sneak out a butt tremble in our first month of dating. I didn’t know whether to feel embarrassed for him or relieved for me! It was done! The big moment, when your inhibitions are out in the open! Does this give ME permission to do the same in his presence?? Ummmm…in my mind…HELL NO!

In fact, before him, I was married to my ex husband, whom I dated for two years previous to marriage, and NOT ONCE in 23 years did that man hear me FART! I would do everything in my power to ensure it NEVER happened around him. AND… we locked the bathroom doors if we had to do a NUMBER 2 so neither of us ever had to “deal” with accidentally walking in on each other. On vacations, sharing the same hotel room, he and I had a pact, that if one of us was in the washroom, the other would leave the room, because it embarrassed me so much. I could also hold a record of simply “not pooping” for over a week while we were on vacations. I would suffer through belly cramps and bloating and not being able to eat, just to avoid doing it. I am…