JUST F**KING CUT THEM OUT!

I have an annoying inability to CUT PEOPLE OUT of my life…

It makes me insane that my daughter has this insane ability to just “cut all ties” with people she breaks up with, gets hurt by, or people she disrespects. This is her belief:

Letting go of toxic people in your life is a big step in loving yourself.” — Hussein Nishah

I DO NOT have this ability. I am the person who has EVERY Ex (except the ones who have blocked me) on Facebook and Instagram. I even have a woman who spent 3 years bullying me at work on Facebook, JUST IN CASE.

I have no idea why. Sometimes I feel like I am caught in a “keep your enemies closer” frame of mind, but then part of me wonders if it is a cry for the people who have hurt me, to just LIKE ME.

I do, have this very strange ability to build walls between myself and others in order to keep my emotions in check. I honestly can sit and visualize myself with bricks and a pail of mortar, building the wall, brick by brick. I never visualize a wall I can’t climb over, however. Is that weird?

When I was a child, I had a shitty life. I suffered abuse at the hands of people I trusted, and instead of allowing it to dictate the rest of my life, I learned my own defense mechanisms. While I was enduring pain, throughout…