By the ghost of a living person?
There are some things that happen in life, that are simply unexplainable. Shit that makes every hair stand up on your body in fear and confusion. I had one of these moments a couple weeks ago, that still has me unravelled.
On a Sunday afternoon, I got a phone call from my brother. He NEVER calls me. I was standing in line to pay for groceries, for the 3rd time that day, preparing for company from out of town, who would be spending a week with us. My phone rang, and as I went to answer it, it went to voicemail.
“Hey, your mother is in the hospital. I don’t have details right now, but as soon as I find out what’s going on, I will let you know.”
My brother referred to “our mother” as “your mother”. This seems to be a running dialogue between us 3 siblings.
I contacted my sister immediately, and she was told that our mom had suffered a minor fall and was on pain killers to remedy it. Apparently the pain killers got the best of her and she collapsed. None of us seem to really understand the entire story, but we were all told that she would be fine. It sounded like she spent a few days in care at the hospital for observation.
Company arrived on Monday at our house, and I continued to check the status of our mother through my brother and sister, and was relieved to hear she was doing well. She is in her 70’s and has lung and breathing issues, so I am always preparing myself to make the 3 hour drive to go and see her, just in case. She is a tough lady, though, and seems to power through everything.
Monday night with our friends was a fun relaxing, wine filled evening and we all slept in on Tuesday morning. We sipped coffee all day, and hung out in the sunshine. I was tired that evening and my partner kept our company outside, while I prepared for bed. That’s when shit started happening.
I was alone in the house, and set about my nightly ritual of face washing, night cream, and brushing my teeth. At first I heard a slight noise. And I peeked around the corner into our bedroom. Nothing. I went back to brushing my teeth and heard a loud GASP. It was a full on gasp for air. There was no mistaking the sound. It was very much like a person submerged under water for too long, and coming up to fill their lungs with fresh air.
I looked into our bedroom again, and there she was. My mother. Sitting up on my side of the bed, in a hospital gown with tubes coming out of her face. She was pale, with dishevelled hair, and she was looking at me with the saddest expression I have ever seen. I felt like I could touch her ashen skin. As I blinked, she disappeared.
I stood, staring at my bed, with my toothbrush dangling still, out of my gaping mouth. My boyfriend came into the bedroom shortly after, and I was still standing still, staring at our still made bed. “What’s wrong with you?” he almost mocked. “What are you looking at?”
I told him the story, and he looked at me like I was losing my mind. “You need to get some sleep baby. You’re losing it”, was all he said.
I barely slept that night, reliving it all in my head. I just happened to glance at the clock while she sat on my bed, and it was 11:55 PM. It made me wonder if I should call the hospital, or what to do. The next day I told my sister.
It is very important to say, here, that I AM NOT A BELIEVER is most stuff like this. My family has a long line of people who “see” stuff all the time, but I have always avoided it. My sister is very spiritually driven and holds firm to her beliefs and I respect her for it. I just made my choice to live my life on the fly, and not get caught up in channeling, and visions. It is a much simpler life. Supernatural and having a 6th sense, can be fascinating, but I find it much safer and calmer to live encompassed by oblivious means. It helps me to feel more “normal”, I suppose.
My sister was stunned at my story, and she insisted that she could help me. Since my visit from mom, I was starting to get migraine headaches and was losing way too much sleep. Her advice was to try and do a cleanse in my room. To “humor” her, I did as she said. I cannot make this shit up. The events that followed her “cleanse” still have my head reeling:
“Ask Archangel Michael to protect you. Ask that Jesus help to cleanse your room and your body of any entities that are inside you. Ask for a sign so you can BELIEVE that they are listening” So, I did just that. I will admit, I felt kind of silly and I may have rolled my eyes repeating her words.
I was standing near my bedroom window when I blurted out her words, and a robin flew up to the window, looked inside my room, perched on the railing of my deck and danced like a tiny chicken. It’s back was toward me, and it kept fluffing its tail, twitching its feet. The dance lasted for about 10 minutes and I captured some of it on video.
I sent the video to my sister, and she told me to do it again. So, I did, only THIS time, I asked that I have the courage to deal with anything that is being given to me as a challenge. I asked for strength and COURAGE to help me succeed and to handle future concerns of my mom and family.
The words had barely left my lips, when my doorbell rang. I am not a fan of people dropping by, especially on a Saturday morning. Typically I ignore whoever is standing on the front step, but today, I was curious. So, I peeked through the peephole to see two men standing in dark suits. I slowly opened the door.
“We have a message for you”, they said in unison. The tall one handed me a brochure. Neither of them said anything further, although the shorter one was about to utter something, until they both looked at me strangely.
In my hand, the brochure shook. The words across the front caught my eye instantly. “Be Courageous” Convention of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
I never looked at them, and quietly said thank you, before I closed the door. I left two men who probably had something more to say, standing speechless as I was staring in disbelief at the words on the paper. Was it mocking me? Or was this some kind of blatant, sacred message? I am not against any religious belief system, believe me, but I also don’t “buy in” to any either. I used to attend church regularly as a child, but was humiliated for being “poor”, by my trusted Sunday school teacher.
I like to attend Christmas Mass when I can, but am not a follower, perse’. I just “live” knowing that there are things out there bigger than we are. Maybe they are creators, or maybe they are beings that we can rely on to decide our fates. I don’t know. I respect cultural beliefs and I do believe that there is life in our souls that live on forever, whether its tangible living, or some sort of reincarnated manifestation. in all actuality, no one REALLY knows.
I do know, that this past experience that I had was very real. It creeped me the hell out and I am not sure what it all means. My mom is back home now, and is still with us. Why did she haunt me if she is still breathing and functioning? I doubt I will ever undertsand. Was it all a strange, twisted coincidence? Maybe. Was it a manifestation from guilt or was I really THAT tired that I was seeing ghosts? It’s not something that I ever want to happen again, but at the same time, I don’t want to tune it out, if it does.
Maybe, this was some strange type of wake up call, offering me choices. The bird could have been a representation of reincarnation and the messages from the Jehovah’s Witnesses could be seen as an “option” to follow a path of religiousness. Perhaps it was a message of Choice A or Choice B?
Or, maybe. The entire chain of events was all self induced and it’s my own way of dealing with the thought, that one day, the call will not be “your mom’s in the hospital”. It will be much worse.
Shortly after the cleansing of my room was done, and I had started to “come around” to the thought that it could be all pure coincidence, I developed a deep chest cough, out of nowhere. I had been feeling healthy and energetic, until I did the cleanse. I workout and run regularly, and Saturday was no different.
I still have the cough and my lungs hurt. It has developed into a cold that has had me sleeping for most of the day all week long. Perhaps it’s just bad timing? Or perhaps it’s an extension of how my mother feels. All I know is that it started off by the feeling of 100 pounds of brick on my chest, and although that pain is gone, now, the cough lingers.
I honestly hope that she is feeling well, and that she knows that she doesn’t have to visit me from the other side. My door is always open.