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Grieving for a Parent You No Longer Know

Kristina H
6 min readJul 3, 2018

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Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

During the night of July 1st, my partner’s father passed away in his sleep. It’s been a sad 24 hours around our house but not for the “typical” reasons of tragedy, loss and mourning.

The last time that my guy had anything to say or do with his father was in the early 1990’s.

His father passed away after a lengthy term of Dementia and Alzheimer’s. These are two mind and body altering thieves that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. My Dave has never had to deal with seeing his father in his struggles through the diseases, but his brother has. Dave’s brother was “given” the responsibility to care for his father for a lengthy term in his house. His responsibilities included diapering, feeding and bathing his dad in the presence of his wife and teenage daughter. It took it’s emotional and mental toll on him and his family, but he endured and made sure the father, he hardly knew, had everything he needed.

Their father’s wife and her adult kids, at some point, determined that the father would “do better” in her care, and in the end he was put into a home. There had been evidence of abuse toward the man that lead him to a facility for aging seniors with challenges. It became an entire process of struggles within the family, based on what the man’s estate could “do” financially for his wife and her kids. He was not of sound mind and had no…

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Kristina H
Kristina H

Written by Kristina H

Writer of relationships / early childhood and mental health . Poetry and fiction dabbler

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