We all have our own ways to care for ourselves

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Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

I saw a quote on Facebook the other morning that made me stop and think, momentarily. It was meant to be a half-assed, tongue in cheek, status that a friend posted, but it opened up a can of shame worms, causing extensive early morning eye-rolling, and actual annoyance at what our world is becoming. The post was:

This, clearly, is a stab at those who don’t see the need to mask up during this pandemic. And who mock social distancing. Whether you believe it is funny, or not, matters not to me. I found it “slightly” amusing, probably for the wrong reasons. We are currently under another “services” lockdown with salons and services being shut off until February. …

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Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

How to Manage the People in Your Circle, When Life Feels Toxic

Last year, I had an epiphany about toxic personalities. It was difficult to decipher the actual words that matched my thought process, but I sat down with a piece of paper and a pen, and sketched my thinking process, making it come to life.

Oddly enough, what I had drawn, resembled the solar system, and brought to mind, a scientific analogy.( I felt like a costar on The Big Bang Theory, although not nearly as nerdy or scientifically gifted). …

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Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

Never Settle for Less

2020 has taught me so many new concepts of relationships. Whether it is a relationship with a sibling, friend, family member, or the love of your life, there should always be a level of standards that cannot be overlooked.

What I mean by standards, is the bar you set, for people who provide healthy, kind and considerate influence in your life. These may sound like they are the basics of any combination of personality traits you look for, but it’s not always that easy. …

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Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Yet, Never Enough to Keep Water in the Well

On New Years Eve, one of my best friends, and one of the kindest humans I know, showed up on our doorstep. She had an overnight bag stuffed full, for a 3 night stay. She simply had to get away from the man she currently lives with.

As she walked through the door, dropping her duffle bag on the Welcome mat, she threw her arms around me and sobbed. I knew she was leaving him in her rearview mirror, but I thought she was unemotional about her decision, based on text talks we have had, and on the strength that she carries on her face. …

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Photo by Luis Galvez on Unsplash

When emotions become a relief from fear of poor mental health

As the clock turned from 11:59 to 12:00, on New Years Eve, my eyes filled with tears. At first I was concerned that my mental health was taking another dive into a dark depression, but it felt amazing to finally shed tears.

I wasn’t sure what the tears meant, but they kept spilling down my cheeks. I could feel my body begin to wrack with emotions that I couldn’t define, until it was over. (If I am being honest I don’t think it’s over, but I am on a break from it). I sobbed quite a few different times between New Years Eve and even today, but it’s not a bad thing. It is most definitely a good thing. …

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Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

What this Past Year Has Given us in Life Lessons

I would be lying if I told you this year was easy for me. I would also be dishonest if I said that it has been a wasted year. I know many people have suffered. Much of our world has been challenged with a variety of struggles, losses and sadness, and it is beyond difficult to comprehend the grief that some have endured though this shit show of a year.

I have not suffered like many, and for those who have, I am extending my deepest empathy, condolences and heartfelt compassion. Not to say that I haven’t felt the stresses and adversity that 2020 has thrown at us, but comparatively speaking, my life could have been much worse over the past 12 months. I still have a job, a home and the love of my life. At the end of the day, my gratitude cup is overflowing for those reasons. …

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Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

The silent scars that never quite heal

There are so many arguments and debates over what type of abuse is the worst, or most dangerous. If you were to research the types of abuse, what you will find are:

  1. Physical Abuse- the act of physically harming another person’s body. This includes kicking, slapping, strangling, shoving and any other form of violent abuse that harms another person’s body.
  2. Sexual Abuse- Non consensual sexual acts or inflicting physical abuse onto a person in a sexual manner. This can include rape, or withholding sex, and using it as a weapon. Sex can also be used to assign value in another person causing emotional harm. …

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Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

How can we control the worries of the unknown and manage our anxiety?

Anxiety is no joke. It is the one emotional challenge that, probably everyone, has at one time or another, and at varying levels. Every individual who has anxiety disorders have their own unique triggers that cause a flame to ignite, sparking the anxious path to an inferno. I have been dealing with anxiety since my childhood, without ever realizing it. As an adult I know it’s there, and am working on managing it.

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Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Words Hurt More Than We Realize

The 80’s was a crazy time. Big hair, bright, bold colors, tight jeans, and leg warmers were the fashion, and every girl wanted to look like Farrah Fawcett or the other poster models on boy’s bedroom walls. We bleached and backcombed our hair, wore crazy amounts of eye shadow, and kept the hairspray companies in business.

We, as young girls, were all about appearances and “fitting in” back then. I am sure not much has changed with teen girls now, but this new world is offended by insults, and luckily we are all trying to raise our daughters more healthy, and stronger, as females. …

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Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

How to stay grateful and gracious in 2020

We are closing in on the finish line for a year that has knocked us all off of our feet. In case, somehow you missed it, we have been invaded by a pandemic that will go down in history as one of the most “unprecedented times” in the human race.

Throughout this year, all of us have suffered losses in various forms- family members, jobs, homes, celebrations, and freedom. It is almost impossible to wrap our heads around what our globe has endured this year. It is difficult to stay positive.

New language has been brought into our lives. COVID-19, Novel Corona virus, pandemic, unprecedented times, quarantine, n95 masks, ventilators, and other scary words, have become household terminology. It has been confusing, misleading, concerning, fear impacting, and strange for all of us this year, as we do our best to stay safe and out of the way of the invisible illness that lurks on seemingly everything we touch. …


Kristina H

Writer of relationships / early childhood and mental health . Poetry and fiction dabbler

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