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I need to follow my own advice

Justice is a fickle bitch.

There was a time when I was absolutely positive I made the right choice. I put my Father and his brother in jail for sexually assaulting my sister and I. It began when we were very young. For me, it started when I was around 5 years old, and lasted into my preteen years. For my sister, who is 6 years my senior, I assume it was the same ages for her.

She left our house when she was 15 years old, and ended up in an abusive relationship. …

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The Freedom of Not Fighting

“You need to argue with your spouse, or you are not being your authentic self”

This is a quote from a close friend of mine, who shall remain anonymous.

I was telling my friend, during a wine chat, how refreshing it is to not be in a relationship full of arguing and drama, for a change. As we sat, sipping our glasses of red, I couldn’t help but notice the slight eye roll shadow her face. …

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What it’s Like to be Trapped in a Prison of Abuse

Staring out the window, your mind travels to the other side of freedom…

Is it a stranger’s trembling kiss? Or maybe it’s the overwhelming feeling of walking alone. Your heart races at the thought of not being followed, stalked, or controlled. You want to stand and watch birds fly. You want to hold the hand of someone who loves you. But fear creeps through your veins, like ice flowing through a river.

The feeling of freedom, while you are trapped in a world that no one else understands, is terrifying.

The unknowns of what your next chapter will hold for…

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When Triggers of Trauma Derail Your Mental Health

There is something so empowering in remaining calm during hard situations. I cannot even explain how much better I feel since I have learned where my “calm” is. I have discovered so much value in being chill, rather than exploding in rage and anger.

In my past, certain triggers turned me into a walking time bomb. I never lashed out in aggression toward others. I refused to hit another human being or animal in my fits of rage. …

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Sifting through reality and virtual survival

Memes, News articles, Videos, Statuses, Photos, Gifs, and so many more pieces of Social Media feel like noise to me now.

I am guilty of being strapped to my phone. I find humor in many of the postings on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and Snapchat. I enjoy the entertainment value, as much as the next person, because, let’s face it-people can be hilarious.

What I find exhausting, is the constant NOISE of Social Media- The arguments, the debates, the drama, the viral shaming and bullying, and the never ending controversies of the pandemic, vaccines, and political fear mongering. …

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When Adult Kids Struggle with Their Parents

I just got off the phone with my Mom and Dad. It’s his birthday tomorrow and I wanted to wish him well.

My Mother was taken to the ER last weekend, at her request, and was told, apparently by a Doctor, that she has “ a touch of pneumonia”. I was given the news by phone, from my sister in law, as my Mother was waiting to be seen in the hospital. This would be approximately the 8th time in 3 years she has gone to ER due to her lungs, oxygen levels and struggles to breathe. I may also…

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Mental Abuse Can Be Extremely Difficult to Escape

Oh, the things I have learned, since I left the abuse. If I could go back 10 years and have a serious talk with myself, I would never have fallen into a sick, twisted trauma bond with an abusive person.

He started off as such a “nice guy”. In some ways he was almost two nice, going out of his way to make plans with me, see me, and talk with me. We chatted through text, email and in person every day for months. His heart seemed genuine, but he had a side to him that I felt nervous about…

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How to Get out of Bed and Embrace Your World

It is so easy to hide behind anxiety, or even use it as a crutch. Trust me, I know this factually, as I have self experience.

The thing about anxiety, is that it is often fear based. “False Evidence Acting Real”, is the buzzword acronym, that so many professionals use to describe it. It may not make it easier to navigate, but it does shed some light on the root of an anxious mind.

Many people who have anxiety also suffer with it ugly sister, depression, making the fear based thinking seem like a mountain looming in front of us…

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Why Extending the Social Olive Branch is Depleting

This past year has taught me various valuable lessons about myself, and about humanity as a whole. Pandemic crises, job losses, personal bubbles and social distancing has caused mental health strain on most everyone, on a global level.

Suddenly, SOCIAL has an entirely different meaning than it did in 2019.

It is a strange and exhausting concept.

By nature, I am socially awkward, but if I like to be in someone’s company, I value them and their time. I am sure I am not alone in this. To be honest, the circle of friends that I have now looks much…

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And Made Me Feel Stupid

At the risk of writing, yet another, article about narcissism, I feel the need to share a few lies I have been told over the years, that can mess a person up.

If you have experiences with this type of human, you may not even know what lies they have told you, to keep you under their controlling programming. It has been a few years since my escape, and I am still learning what the lies were. I am sure there have been more, but these are the most significant.

The narcissist will play all types of mind games on…

Kristina H

Writer of relationships / early childhood and mental health . Poetry and fiction dabbler

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