Two Minutes of Trauma can Create a Lifetime of Work
I am in my 50’s, and I still have to do work, every single day, to stay mentally well. I may not work as hard as I once had to, but I still have to remind myself daily that I am in a safe place, and that I have freedom from abusive people.
My trauma was “gifted” to me as a child, and again, in my teens. As an adult, I found myself falling into a pattern of not being able to stay safely away from mental abuse. I got lazy, in my 40’s, and stopped doing the important work…
My soul truly has a mate.
As a 10 year old who was raised in an abusive home, I never comprehended what “normal” meant. For me, normal was drunken parents who argued loudly, and the never ending fear of my Father sneaking into my bedroom in the middle of the night, while my Mother slept off her drunken stupor.
Our house was always filthy, and my older brother and sister were rarely home to care for me, or help me with chores. They were 5 and 6 years my senior, and by the time I was 10, they stayed out of the house as often as…
She was leaning up against an oak tree, sucking on a long, slender cigarette. She flicked the ashes on the damp ground with her long, red thumbnail as she stared off into space. The memories of him trickled through her brain like a haunted stream, as tears floated down her cheeks. The breeze of the warm spring air dried the moisture on her face into dusty silhouettes, as she tried to regain her breath.
She never understood what happened to them. They were best friends who turned into complete strangers over the course of 17 hours. She trusted him and…
I need to follow my own advice
Justice is a fickle bitch.
There was a time when I was absolutely positive I made the right choice. I put my Father and his brother in jail for sexually assaulting my sister and I. It began when we were very young. For me, it started when I was around 5 years old, and lasted into my preteen years. For my sister, who is 6 years my senior, I assume it was the same ages for her.
She left our house when she was 15 years old, and ended up in an abusive relationship. …
The Freedom of Not Fighting
“You need to argue with your spouse, or you are not being your authentic self”
This is a quote from a close friend of mine, who shall remain anonymous.
I was telling my friend, during a wine chat, how refreshing it is to not be in a relationship full of arguing and drama, for a change. As we sat, sipping our glasses of red, I couldn’t help but notice the slight eye roll shadow her face. …
This world has shifted through division, anger and distrust
As I lay with my head on my fiancé's chest, feeling the love emit from his soothing hand on my back, I cannot help but feel security. The soft light from our nightlight streams across us as we drift slowly off to sleep.
These are the moments that I cherish.
While my phone lights up continually in the dark, alerting me that the outdoor surveillance cameras are doing their job, I cannot help but feel troubled that life has become about self preservation and protection, rather than warm instances like these.
When did we all become fearful that someone or…
What matters is your truth and how you share it
There was a time in my life when I would feel completely shattered by haters, or by people who didn’t like me. Those days are long behind me, since I have been working so hard on reforming my life.
When we speak our truth, there is always the chance that someone who reads your work will come back with backlash, calling you out for your words, or even attacking you directly. This, sadly, has happened to me.
But, I am okay. In fact, I am better than okay, since I have found ways of coping and dealing with the sad…
There is such a fine line between truth and lies. Whether it be a matter of two different perspectives, or a way of sharing a story that another person heard differently, it doesn’t matter. For one it may be the truth, and for another it is seen as a blatant lie.
Every relationship I have had, or currently have, is full of lessons that I embrace on my learning journey. Some people I value as trustworthy, and some I wouldn’t be able to trust if my life was dependent on them, and that’s okay. Simply because you aren’t able to…
~ But, Don’t Allow Them To~
Its been a minute since I last wrote on Medium. I have been absent, not because I wanted to be, but because I was briefly shaken to my very core by a fellow writer.
It was in no way the fault of the other writer. On the contrary, I am thankful for the enlightenment that they shared with me.
An Emotionally Safe Space Should Never be Taken for Granted
HOME…Such a commonly used word, that triggers feelings of safety and comfort, joy, family, and emotional security.
I will let you in on a small secret. I haven’t felt safe in my own “home”, emotionally, in my 50 plus years of life.
At least, not until recently.
I was raised in a less than desirable house, surrounded by people I can only describe as abusive monsters. My bedroom was one of the most dangerous rooms in the average sized bi-level. When I was little, I shared a room with my sister, where I witnessed way too much trauma. Our live-in…
